I know I am pushing - I'm a pusher - that is what I do.. What can I do but to hope I will survive my own transition. Many awakening people do get killed in order to keep the the world we know asleep. I know the point is to enjoy our awakening, it is a time for us to grow in sync with ourselves and everything around us. When this is said I am still straining myself not to move too fast. At this time it is my biggest fight to hold back because every time I move too fast, for my own person, it gets really bad. I feel confused and alone, I feel like I'm grasping for air and like nothing is the way it is supposed to be. It is hard to explain this in any other way than to say it is my own personal suffering that shines through. It feels the same way when I move too slow, Mother Earth make sure I am always in the right place. Again; it is all about balance.
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."
-George Bernard Shaw-
Most of the time I do feel relaxed about my awakening. I am not scared of tomorrow, not that scared anyway. As long as I am in balance, I feel very happy - I am focusing on today because today is reality right now. By relaxing and balancing ourselves, knowing what is ahead, I have learned that our fears fades away and let us travel painless down the river. For me it is the only way to travel and I am very happy to see that as I write this at a coffee shop there are several conversations around me on the subject of being in balance. One is about seeing the world behind the one we are living in, Another one on how the number 11 keep showing up in their life, one on how it will be interesting to watch the path of death. The real world is getting closer guys, it is knocking on our door and we are thought to be afraid of strangers and by all means do not pick up hitchhikers, right? The wall is coming down and we are starting to understand why things are what they are. We are waking up to a brand new day and it feels so joyful.
You might understand everything I write and hopefully agree in some or all of it. It is however your choice to take anything in and change this world once and for all. The question rise; what do I do now? I think the best place to start is (slowly) with yourself. Know that as long as you are floating down the river all the energy in the world is accessible to you. We have all learned how to pray but there is a great confusion to where we direct our prayers. You have to understand that it doesn't matter what door you choose, what God you believe in or how you approach the truth. In the real world we all have our own guides to help us. We are one, we are the tribe of many colors. Our guides will always care for us and they will always support us whatever choices we may make. Do not doubt them, if we do they will still be by our sides. I promise you that whenever we need guidance we can ask our guides for help. It is worth spending some time getting to know them, but you do not need to. In fact; you don't have to do anything but to listen. But if and when we do ask questions it would be foolish not to listen for answers, right?
To realize that we live in a world created as an illusion based on fear is another big case to brake. When we do, I think a natural response may be guilt for being a part of this creation. First step will be learning to forgive ourselves for how we pass on so much expectation and judgement instead of love and joy. You are in no right - what so ever - to make this false truths for others(!) Since you have never really known the truth and you have created stories based on fear you have been a big part of the sleeping fear-based world. This fear keeps you from jumping back into the river, to forgive yourself is the easiest way to reconnect - your guides can help you with this. All you have to do is to ask the right questions and listen to the answer. Have no doubt, the answer will come to you but not necessarily with a prophet around the corner or an angel with white wings and a glory over his head. It is a lot more likely to be your drunk neighbor yelling to her kids or the through the conversation on the table next to you. It might be through the next song on the radio or trough a shivering in your body or maybe the goosebumps on your arm? However the answer comes to you - you will have to choose to listen. Do not ask questions you do not want the answer to because you will get them and they might just take you deeper into your fear, into denial and further away from the river and the real world. You know what they say; you get what you ask for. It's your job to feel what is right and what is not.
Be aware of energythiefs. Not everyone want us to wake up and will do anything in their power to stop the awakening. Whatever you do: Do not fear them, they can not win! But please be aware that they exist and that they are many and everywhere - it is important that you block them out. They can be the loud speaker in the restaurant or the character you remember as the class-bully. It can basically be anyone. They are fairly easy to recognize because you will never have a good feeling while being close to one. Most likely they will make you feel like you would want to leave the place or like your head get heavy or the situation frustrating. Notice how other people around you react to the change in energy. They can stop you from thinking positive or push you to think a certain way by having an overly loud conversation with their "bud". Think about it; they showed up when you where feeling good, read; having a nice float down the river - now by stealing your good energy they pushed you up on dry land and gave you loads of new fear to deal with in return. Most energythiefs I have encountered in my life is beyond what I can do to help them, they will never come around and there is not much we can do - but some will, they require a lot of work (I rarely find it worth my time) but when I have the strength or when the person is a friend I will try, you will know relatively quick if it is worth it. Try just to ask the person to shut their mouth and start listening, but I make no promises some souls are just too confused, not beyond repair but they as you have to do their own work. Most important of all; do not be an energy-thief! If you are confused and full of fear and at the same time have a strong energy, do not act on it. Work with yourself and make sure that the energy you put out is pure, peaceful or at least calm. If you need help with this, you can always ask your guides to heal you - they will, that is a promise.
Aman dan cinta,
Jack
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