iFear

Another thing about traveling is how you'll learn to deal with your own mind and your own person. Me, I'm writing, not only this blog. But stories, plays and ideas for projects. Some of my friends will tell me to keep my feelings inside, and not talk to them about it, just like they do. That doesn't work for me at all. I need the conversation and the stimulation of human contact. As a person right now I would say there is two big problems in my life that I'll have to work with. The first one is fear of my own success. Let me tell you a little story:

There was once a boy that grew up to become an amazing running athlete. He was working hard and set is goals high, he kept his focus witch made him to a hard competition. He found himself running in front of the others. He then starts to loose focus. Thinking about those behind him. What were they thinking, would they catch up? He then starts to feel that being in front of everyone else isn't right. He loose focus completely and end up without interest, the joy of running is gone. The athlete keeps his smile but everything he's worked for is no more. He have to do some serious work with himself. He was blind not to see that in front of him was another runner called time. And he could always be chasing time, an invincible and unbeatable competitor. If someone were to be the president of the whole world that would be insignificant in the context of the whole universe. 

This highly self-sabotaging view he had on himself made him vulnerable to new situations and also in dealing with time. With success comes more challenges and responsibilities, this can feel very threatening to anyone that have this subconscious problem. The athlete is now paralyzed in fear of his own success.

Success can expose you as a person, it can show your weaknesses and flaws. The Athlete went deep in himself with help from a coach and was asked to keep his eyes pointed forward on the runner in front of him. To sustain his success he would have to overcome his fear of not being good enough to be in the lead. When he ran alone and in front of everyone else he felt the fear of being himself, the strong and lonely athlete.

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."
-Mark Twain-

The next problem is just as complex; Fear of failure. Either one of these terms are absolute. No one can be a total success and no one will ever be a total failure. It's just not possible. People often do the mistake of seeing also these little words as an constant. But like everything else there is no such thing in the world as black and white, there is always a whole rainbow waiting if you just manage to open your mind for the full picture. Even if things doesn't go the way you want them to, you are not being a failure. It just means that things doesn't go the way you want. The athlete had to learn how to relax with his success and also learned that ones success was never just about him. There will always be people benefiting from others success. Also true for failure.

Relax with yourself,
Jack